Sunt, cred, un naiv. Un copil mare căruia îi place să creadă că lumea asta nu se compune din oameni bogaÈ›i sau săraci, ci lumea asta se compune din oameni si Oameni.Nicolae Steinhardt spune lucruri care ar trebui să ne facă uneori să ne privim mai mult în suflet, în interiorul fiinÈ›ei noastre. Am găsit un pasaj elocvent...
" Cînd un om reuÅŸeÅŸte să facă ceva ce i-a solicitat mult efort, în el începe să lucreze trufia. Cel ce slăbeÅŸte, se uită cu dispreÅ£ la graÅŸi, iar cel ce s-a lăsat de fumat răsuceÅŸte nasul dispreÅ£uitor cînd altul se bălăceÅŸte, încă, în viciul său.
Dacă unul îÅŸi reprimă cu sîrg sexualitatea, se uită cu dispreÅ£ ÅŸi cu trufie către păcătosul, care se căzneÅŸte să scape de păcat, dar instinctul i-o ia înainte! Ceea ce reuÅŸim, ne poate spurca mai ceva decît păcatul însuÅŸi. Ceea ce obÅ£inem se poate să ne dea peste cap reperele emoÅ£ionale în aÅŸa manieră încît ne umple sufletul de venin.
Banii care vin spre noi ne pot face aroganÅ£i ÅŸi zgîrciÅ£i, cum succesul ne poate răsturna în abisul înfricoşător al patimilor sufleteÅŸti. Drumul către iubire se îngustează cînd ne uităm spre ceilalÅ£i de la înălÅ£imea vulturilor aflaÅ£i în zbor. BlîndeÅ£ea inimii se usucă pe vrejii de dispreÅ£, de ură ÅŸi de trufie, dacă sufletul nu este pregătit să primească reuÅŸita sa cu modestia ÅŸi graÅ£ia unei flori... Tot ce reuÅŸim pentru noi ÅŸi ne aduce energie este menit a se întoarce către aceia ce se zbat, încă, în suferinţă ÅŸi-n păcat. Ochii noÅŸtri nu sunt concepuÅ£i pentru dispreÅ£, ci pentru a exprima cu ei chipul iubirii ce se căzneÅŸte să iasă din sufletele noastre. Succesele nu ne sunt date spre a ne înfoia în pene, ca în mantiile statuilor, ci pentru a le transforma în dragoste, în dezvoltare ÅŸi în dăruire pentru cei din jur.
Dacă reprimi foamea în timp ce posteÅŸti, foamea se va face tot mai mare. Mintea ta o să viseze mîncăruri gustoase ÅŸi alese, mintea o să simtă mirosurile cele mai apetisante chiar ÅŸi în somn, pentru ca, în ziua următoare, înebunită de frustrare, să compenseze lipsa ei printr-un dispreÅ£ sfidător faÅ£
ƒ de cel ce nu posteÅŸte. Atunci, postul devine prilej de trufie, de exprimare a orgoliului ÅŸi a izbînzii trufaÅŸe asupra poftelor... Dar, dincolo de orice, trufia rămîne trufie, iar sentimentul frustrării o confirmă. Dacă ai reuÅŸit în viaţă, nu te agăţa de nereuÅŸitele altuia, pentru a nu trezi în tine viermele cel aprig al orgoliului ÅŸi patima înfumurării. ReuÅŸita este energia iubirii ÅŸi a capacităţii tale de acceptare a vieÅ£ii, dar ea nu rămîne nemiÅŸcată, nu este ca un munte sau ca un ocean. Îngîmfarea ÅŸi trufia reuÅŸitei te coboară, încetul cu încetul de pe soclul tău, căci ele desenează pe cerul vieÅ£ii tale evenimente specifice lor.
SlăbeÅŸte, bucură-te ÅŸi taci! Lasă-te de fumat, bucură-te ÅŸi taci! Curăţă ograda ta, bucură-te de curăţenie ÅŸi lasă gunoiul vecinului acolo unde vecinul însuÅŸi l-a pus. Căci între vecin ÅŸi gunoiul din curte există o relaÅ£ie ascunsă, niÅŸte emoÅ£ii pe care nu le cunoÅŸti, sentimente pe care nu le vei bănui vreodată ÅŸi cauze ce vor rămîne, poate, pentru totdeauna ascunse minÅ£ii ÅŸi inimii tale.
Între omul gras ÅŸi grăsimea sa există o relaÅ£ie ascunsă. O înÅ£elegere. Un secret. Un sentiment neînÅ£eles. O emoÅ£ie neconsumată. O dragoste respinsă. Grăsimea este profesorul grasului. Viciul este profesorul viciosului. Åži, în viaÅ£a noastră nu există profesori mai severi decît viciile ÅŸi incapacităţle noastre.."
"Acum stiu, stiu ca orice ura, orice aversiune, orice tinere de minte a raului, orice lipsa de mila, orice lipsa de intelegere, bunavointa, simpatie, orice purtare cu oamenii care nu e la nivelul gratiei si gingasiei unui menuet de mozart... este un pacat si o spurcaciune; nu numai omorul, ranirea, lovirea, jefuirea, injuratura, alungarea, dar orice vulgaritate, desconsiderarea, orice cautatura rea, orice dispret, orice rea dispozitie este de la diavol si strica totul.
Acum stiu, am aflat si eu... "
Nicolae Steinhardt
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