Din Paris, in zilele dintai ale lui Maiu 1926
“… Incep prin a-ti raspunde: ai dreptate. Dreptate in ceea ce priveste lipsa de timp. Dar iarasi nu o spun ca o scuza ci numai pentru a constata ca viata de azi e asa facuta incat suntem robi (in sensul adevarat al vorbei) specialitatilor noastre. Fac eu insumi (de cand sunt la Paris) experienta. Imi dau seama si cat e de ucigatoare robia asta pentru suflet. E curios, crestinismul de la inceput a fost pentru mine o chemare adresata sufletului intreg contra specializarii. Vezi cele ce am scris odata in aspiratia catre crestinism si intelesul ei actual, concis, despre viata integrala. (De atunci am evoluat mult, mult de tot!).
Ce e mai ciudat in robia asta, e ca avem de-a face cu o robie benevola, chiar dorita pe care, de obicei, o numim vocatie. Intelepciunea trece in toate astea pe langa suflet. Devenim enciclopedii ambulante. Iar intelepciunea nu incape in Enciclopedie… Ce pacat!
Zici ca aceasta lipsa de timp de care-mi scrii nu e aceia de care ti-am vorbit eu. Ba… e tocmai cea de care am vorbit. si vorbesc din experienta. Probabil ca am intrebuintat termeni straini de dta. La intrebarea trei sute nu stiu cat din chestionarul anexat programului de organizare a vietii universitare intocmit de seminarul de sociologie (…), in 1923, sub conducerea Prof. Gusti, care suna: de ce lipsuri te-ai intalnit mai des? Eu am raspuns: lipsa de timp. Iar la intrebarea ce propuneri ai avea de facut pentru a remedia aceasta am scris cu ironie: ziua de 26 de ore. (…)
In ceea ce priveste spontaneitatea, cu rezervele facute in ultima mea scrisoare sunt de parerea dtale. Crestinismul nu e un drum cu stalpi pe care scrie, cum bine spune Sergiu, ”la stanga”, ”la dreapta”. El se impaca cu libertatea launtrica. Dar aici e diferenta pe care o face Sf. Pavel intre Lege si har. Sf. Augustin zicea: Iubeste pe Dumnezeu si… fa ce vrei. Dar accentul trebuie pus pe prima propozitie. Fa ce vrei, da. Dar cand ai ajuns sa iubesti pe Dumnezeu nu mai poti sa vrei unele lucruri. Ceea ce se realizeaza aici e impacarea perfecta a faptelor omului cu gandul lui, trairea in deplina armonie sufleteasca fara violentarea sufletului propriu. Dar asta nu sta in puterea omului fara harul lui Dumnezeu si Ajutorul Lui.
Asa pusa problema, libertatea este spontaneitate, dar nu in acelasi sens cu acel al spontaneitatii obicinuite ”fa ce vrei” (lipsind astfel prima parte). Primejdia acestei spontaneitati confundata cu cea de-a doua este: Qui veut faire l’ange fait la bete (Pascal). [Cine vrea sa faca pe ingerul ajunge sa fie o bestie - n.n.]
Partea cea mai interesanta a scrisorii dtale este aceia unde imi arati contradictia intre necesitatea unei explicari rationale pentru lamurirea spiritului si necesitatea unei credinte mistice pentru linistea lui, una contrazicand pe cealalta. Imi spui ca e cazul tuturor celor de la stiinte. E cazul tuturor celor atinsi de “raul veacului” sau mai bine zis de “raul sufletului” evului modern. Suntem toti prinsi in aceasta dilema. (Toti cei care gandesc si refuza sa se mutileze).
"font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Aceasta formeaza pentru mine unul din nenumaratele “paradoxuri” ale crestinismului, care pentru unii sunt contradictii, dar care imi par a fi tainele lui pe care nu le-au inteles “vracii pamantului“. Citeste de pilda Acatistul Buneivestiri. Ce ma uimeste pe mine acolo, cetind Icosul 2 sau mai bine Icosul 9, de pilda, e ca zice:
Peritorii cei mult vorbitori îi vedem, Născătoare de Dumnezeu, că-ti stau înainte ca niste pesti fără de glas; că nu se pricep să spună în ce chip si fecioară ai rămas si ai putut naste. Iar noi, de o taină ca aceasta minunându-ne, cu credintă cântăm.
Asta este complect rasturnarea felului de a pune problema in felul in care o puneam noi de obicei la inceput si poate o punem inca! Ti-aduci aminte: existenta unei minuni, existenta a ceva imposibil de explicat era pentru noi un motiv de a lepada ca nevalabil lucrul. Icosul amintit procedeaza invers. Constiinta unui lucru ramas neexplicat se vede limpede. Dar neexplicarea, departe de a fi piatra de scandal, e un motiv de intarire a credintei: care om poate cu mintea lui, gandeste Icosarul, sa explice taina ascunsa’n dogma intruparii? Care om vede pe Dumnezeu fata catre fata?
Acolo unde mintea noastra a modernilor inclina catre scepticism, catre negare, acolo tocmai cantaretul Icosului scoate un motiv de mai tare adorare intru Bucurie. Nu ti se pare tocmai ca aici are compozitorul icosului ceva ce ne lipseste noua, cand ne apropiem de text? Cum ar fi altfel explicabila atitudinea lui?
Are, socotesc eu, faptul ca e infipt in adevarurile credintei, are evidenta acestor credinte, le traieste, le vede, iluminate mistic, admisibile si admirabile, si neputinta explicarii lor nu numai ca nu le distruge, dar nici nu le atinge in sufletul lui pentru ca niciodata un argument (care poate inlatura un alt argument) nu poate nimic impotriva unui fapt. Ceea ce rezista in aceest icos atacului pe carel da scepticismul metodic al sufletului modern este faptul viu, e faptul trait al credintei. Or aici mi se pare ca sta primejdia pentru trairea religioasa (si la mine, si la dta, si la toti cei care au, cum zici, “pasiunea de a cunoaste”). Pasiunea de a cunoaste cu unealta si cu “spiritul critic” face un dumnezeu (tinde sa faca) din cunostinta si infiltrandu-ne “curiozitate” ne rapeste si “sancta simplicitas” si “evlavia” din suflet…
In ceea ce priveste convingerile dtale despre crestinism, iti multumesc ca mi le scrii. Rezerva precisa – mai bine zis o amplificare – adaug ca o intrebare la ideea dtale ca numai Hristos reprezinta crestinismul. Si Biserica adaug. Biserica inteleasa ca adunarea mistica a tuturor celor care de la inceputul timpurilor, legati de fagaduiala de mantuire data Evei, au adormit in nadejdea venirii lui Hristos, a tuturor acelor dintre sfinti care au putut spune, ca Sf. Pavel: “nu mai sunt eu cel ce traiesc, ci Hristos traieste in mine” si toti acei pacatosi care in mijlocul nostru Il cauta cu nadejde amantuirii, cred in El si traiesc in dragostea lui Dumnezeu. Noi, ortodocsii, obisnuim sa zicem in acest sens ca Biserica e trupul mistic sau tainic al lui Hristos.
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